Coping with Special Occasions After Loss

Special occasions such as Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Valentine’s Day, and other significant dates can bring heightened emotions and an acute awareness of loss. These moments can feel overwhelming, both mentally and physically, as your grief may come in waves or feel like a constant presence.

It is natural to find these occasions particularly difficult when those around you are busy celebrating, making plans, or sharing their excitement. This can serve as a painful reminder of the person who died and the changes their absence has brought to your life.

Grief is a deeply personal journey, and there is no right or wrong way to navigate it. Allow yourself the space to feel your emotions and take care of your well-being. Whether you choose to honour the day, distract yourself, or simply get through it, what matters most is doing what feels right for you.

Marking the occasion

For some, acknowledging the occasion can provide comfort and help maintain the continued bond with the person who has died. Finding a way to remember them can ease heavy emotions and bring a sense of closeness, reminding you of the connection that remains.

Ideas to Honor and Remember:

• Share Memories: Gather with family or friends to recall special moments and stories, bringing a sense of closeness and connection.
• Visit a Meaningful Place: Spend time somewhere that holds precious memories or significance.
• Light a Candle: Take a moment for quiet reflection and remembrance.
• Visit Their Resting Place: Lay flowers, light a candle, or place a personal item as a tribute.
• Creative Expression: Write a letter, poem, or create a memory stone as a lasting tribute.
• Reflect Through Photos or Videos: Look back on cherished times spent together.
• Enjoy a Meal with others: Share stories and support one another.
• Make Time for Yourself: Find a quiet space to reflect on your own feelings.

Finding Comfort Through Distraction

Sometimes, focusing on something else can help ease the intensity of grief. Taking your mind off the day can provide a much-needed break from difficult emotions.

Ideas for alternative activities:

• Treat Yourself: Engage in self-care activities that bring comfort.
• Get Outdoors: Physical activity and fresh air can help lift your mood and release tension.
• Plan Activities: Arrange to see friends or try something new to break the routine.
• Maintain Structure: Sticking to a routine can create a sense of normalcy and help you feel more grounded.

Coping with special occasions when Relationships Were Complicated

For some, special occasions may be triggering for a different reason. When a relationship was strained or challenging, it may cause feelings around the loss of the relationship they wanted to have. On days such as Mother’s Day, Father’s Day or Christmas for example, it may cause negative feelings about the lack of a close or loving relationship with the person who has died. It’s important for people who feel this way to also acknowledge their feelings and seek ways they can find support on these occasions.

Taking Care of Yourself

Listen to your needs and be mindful of your limitations. It can be helpful to plan how you will spend the day and communicate your intentions to those close to you. Let others know how they can support you or if you would prefer solitude.

Grief is unique to everyone, and it is okay to feel differently from one year to the next. Prioritize your well-being and take each moment as it comes.

If you’d like to learn more about KEMP Hospice Family Support & Bereavement Services you can find details on our website or send us an email.